Cracked pottery can teach us a lot about ourselves.
Like pottery bowls, we’ve experienced bumps, chips and breakages in our life-journey. We may have been betrayed, deeply hurt or made some big mistakes. Maybe we’ve loved and lost. Life is not perfect and Life is not fair.
What if we could learn to embrace our flawed and imperfect life? What if we could accept our past experiences and not dwell on what we shoud have done differently? Japanese philosphers call this phenomenon ‘Kintsugi’: Embracing the flawed and imperfect aspects of an object, allowing it to be of service to the end of it’s life. Wow! If that’s not a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is.
As humans, we find Kintsugi difficult. We have a tendency to dwell on our cracks (or on other’s) and miss out on life as we run around trying to to prevent the next inevitable crack from ocurring.
Our cracks don’t have to define or control us. They are gold. They are valuable. They remind us of what we’ve overcome and increase our resilience. They make us interesting, beautiful and strong.
Would I benefit from counselling? Questions & Free Resources
Ask yourself the following questions and check out attached valuable free resources.
How Stuck Am I?
If you’re wondering whether you need Counselling support, complete this brief questionnaire to determine your level of Psychological Distress.
How Rigid is My Thinking?
Psychological rigidity often leads to psychological distress and mental health issues (dirty pain). To find out how rigid your thinking patterns are, complete this brief questionnaire. The higher your score, the more rigid your thinking patterns are and the more likely you will continue to experience difficulty in daily life.
Are you feeling stressed out and trying to achieve too many things in one day?
Having goals is great! They give us a sense of achievement. However, sometimes our goals can be unworkable and unrealistic. If you’re trying to achieve too many goals in one day leaving leaving you feeling overwhelmed, stressed and burnt-out, then watch this short 3 minute video on Values vs Goals by Dr. Russ Harris which will give you a new perspective about what’s driving your life.
Do you get caught up in your negative thoughts?
We have approx. 80,000 thought processes per day. Of which, approx. 75% of them are classified as negative. No, it’s not just you that has a lot of negative thoughts. We all do. Why is this so? Our brain is designed to keep us alive by scanning the environment for potential threat (through judging events that we regret from our past, so that we don’t repeat those mistakes) or it’s busy predicting potential future events that we see as threatening (What if’s) and in most cases, won’t happen anyway. Our brain is doing a great job of keeping us alive but is doing a lousy job for our quality of life. We can’t stop our brain from doing it’s job. There is no “OFF” switch. But we can learn how to deal with our automatic unhelpful negative thoughts, by changing our relationship to them. We can learn that THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS and we can learn to not take them so literally. This short 3-minute by Dr. Russ Harris will provide you a refreshing new perspective on how we can stop our negative thoughts controlling us.
Do you have unrealistic expectations about feeling happy all of the time?
Ever noticed that joy doesn’t last for very long? That’s because our brains are not designed to be happy. They are designed to predict threat to keep us alive. We forget that our caveman mind can make us spend way too much time worrying about the future. Sometimes we can hold on too tightly to the idea that if we’re not feeling happy and relaxed that there’s something wrong with us. When in fact, it’s the opposite. Our mind is working perfectly doing what it’s designed to do. Chasing a constant state of happiness is a battle we will never win. Wd can, however, tame our Caveman Mind by practicing daily gratitude and mindfulness. Spend less time being dominated by thoughts about the past (If only’s) and the future (What if’s) and spend more time in the present moment, just as it is, not how we want or need it to be. Watch this 4-minute video by Dr. Russ Harris about common Myths about happiness.
Anxiety can be crippling and is a common issues for many Australians. Do you constantly trying to avoid feeling anxious? Do you experience panic attacks? Have you developed unhelpful control strategies that are beginning to make your life feel small? Anxiety can be effectively treated with some simple and effective strategies. Don't let Anxiety continue to control your life. Help is at hand!
Watch this 3-minute video by Dr. Russ Harris about the Struggle Switch.
Four Main Myths about relationships in one sentence: 1) When I find the perfect partner, 2) I’ll feel whole and complete, 3) and remain deeply in love for the rest of my life 4) without any effort. We all know from experience that relationships can be difficult at times. However, often it’s the expectations we have around love and relationships, that can cause unnecessary relationship strain. On top of that, we often fall into the trap of communicating our needs in passive/aggressive ways (criticizing, blaming, avoidance, giving the ‘cold shoulder’ or silent treatment, shutting-down, punishing each other) that over time, creates resent, contempt and ultimately, the death of the relationship. https://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/ACT_with_Love_-_Introduction_&_Chapter_1.pdf